I feel dirty

I hate myself for this.
Actually, I hate everything about this.




This is not going to be the most groundbreaking first post on the history of the internet.

Not even close actually.

But first let me set a few things straight.



I HATE the notion of a blog. However, I DESPISE the word "blog". People who use this word in casual conversation are instantly categorized in my mind under the "tool" category, somewhere between people that buy and wear Crocs, and this kid. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to change the word "blog" to something more respectable... Something that truly reveals the word for what it really means.. And from now on this word will be "RAPE".

Ahh, much better. It kind of rolls off the tongue doesn't it? RAPE is of course an anagram, or maybe an acronym....hm... Who the hell really knows anyway? Well anyway, like most anagrams/acronyms, RAPE, of course stands for something else. And in this case, RAPE, stands for "Revealing Aimless Personal Experiences". See, now not only is the new word catchy, it also makes sense, totally clearing up any confusion caused by the word "blog".

Now that we've taken care of that word, we need to take care of the word "blogger", formally known as a person that partook in the action of "blogging". Perplexing.... Oh I've got it!....
From now on all those that "RAPE" will be known as "RAPIST" 's! Perfect! I really feel like I've stumbled upon something great here.


So now that I'm a full-fledged RAPIST, I want to outline what this RAPE really is about. Unfortunately, this will not be another "Pictures of my Cat", or "My Soul is Blacker Than My Eye Liner" site. I'm not cool enough to wear girl's jeans, and I don't own a cat. What will be on this RAPE will be a collection of one liners that I think are funny, and chances are, you won't.



The posts will be unorganized and unappealing to the eye. I have neither the ambition nor the time to dress up what equates to the same amount of clever writing found in a mid-day soap opera that is going on its 10th season.

Who am I kidding, of course I have the time to do that...

Even the name of this RAPE is pointless. Most web addresses are short little words that are easy to remember and present the site in an informative and pleasant light. It's as if I purposely chose a sentence that was the exact opposite. Come to think of it, yes, it was totally on purpose.

In the age of the internet, websites are all competing for the common user's attention (Approximately that of a small rodent on crack), so honestly, what hope do I have a grabbing a huge audience when this site already exists. I might as well pack up this site right now, and never post again.


Which I very well might.

But now ends the first post.

I wish I had some witty statement to leave you with, but as I've learned, the first post on any website is often on par with the importance you give the handicapped greeter at Walmart. And I mean honestly, what kind of imbecile would have wasted their time to read all the way down here?








I am not an internet writer. My posts, will be short, and will be wrought with spelling and grammar mistakes. .... and no, I don't support RAPE, in either sense.