Friday, March 6, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
My favorite time the year has arrived!
PROM TIME!
When: The Day after Christmas… Then again, it’s never too early to start looking for dresses!
Where: Anywhere and everywhere, because honestly, everyone cares about how you “Can’t find the perfect dress!!!”
Who: All girls… EVERY, SINGLE, ONE!
What: Constantly look at dresses in magazines, websites, or in stores. When not looking at dresses talk about them, CONSTANTLY!!!
When: The Day after Christmas… Then again, it’s never too early to start looking for dresses!
Where: Anywhere and everywhere, because honestly, everyone cares about how you “Can’t find the perfect dress!!!”
Who: All girls… EVERY, SINGLE, ONE!
What: Constantly look at dresses in magazines, websites, or in stores. When not looking at dresses talk about them, CONSTANTLY!!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
My Deepest Apologies
I do feel bad about the lack of recent updates, but this is mainly due to the fact that I'm working on a rather large project. I'll try and keep you guys posted on how it's coming along.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Four Types of Pictures Girls Will Put on Their Myspace/Facebook
Believe it or not, the millions of different pictures found on any girls myspace/facebook account can be categorized into 4 Basic Types. With the help of my severely overweight golden retriever I have taken the liberty to catalog these four types of pictures for your convenience. It is without further adieu that I present the....
4 Basic Types of All Girl Pictures on Myspace/Facebook
Picture One: The "Emo" Picture
Ahh yes. What a fine specimen. What many people don't know, is that the "Emo" Picture is not just limited to those that that shop at Hot Topic. No, actually almost every girl has a "serious" photo, something they took to show their more "deep" side. While there are varying levels of "emo-ness" in varying girls "Emo" pictures, often times the serious pose will be combined with different photo editing techniques. Additionally, there may be self written poetry to reflect just how conflicted their life struggles are.
Picture Two: The "Face" Picture
You're sitting there at your computer one day, minding your own business, parousing some friend of a friend's myspace, when all of a sudden you come across a girl with a pretty nice face. Interested, you probe deeper, clicking on the girl's photo albums, and trying to find out a little bit more about her. To your dissapointment though, while she has a lot of pictures, they all seem to be from the neck up. You're still interested, so you click on some of her friend's pictures, thinking "Maybe they have some pictures with her?". You finally find a picture they all took at a recent sporting event, and as your eyes roll across the tags in the picture, you finally find her. "Holy.... Wait... No that can't... but that's her hair? EWWWW" Well, I hate to say it my friend, but you have fallen victim to the "Face" Picture.
Like it or not, "The Face", is a fairly common occurence on any social networking site. Thankfully, (atleast for the guys anyway), there are several warning signs of TF. In fact, there's a very handy method to figure out if a girl is trying to hide something on her albums.
If the ratio of her "Face" pictures is greater than 3:1 of her "Full Body" pictures, I would be warry. However if the ratio is any greater than 6:1, you may have a full fledged "Facer" on your hands.
Picture Three: The "Mirror" Picture
Not exactly a type of picture, but more of a technique, the "Mirror" picture, is one of the most common pictures on any girl's myspace/facebook. Don't believe me? Check for yourself. I'll wait until you come back...
...Anway, the mirror pic is not too complex, however there are many variations on it. Some mirror pics combine the "Emo" and "Face" types. Some types incorporate other girls. Some even are taken with funny hats. (This last type is rare, girls are not usually fans of humorous headwear) Whatever the case, "Mirror Pics" are the staple of any girls photos and play a very important role.
Picture Four: The "I look like crap but they look good" Picture
A personal favorite, the "ILLCBTLG", encompasses all pictures in which a girl criticizes her appearance and/or says how much better her friends look than her. You obviously would not put this picture up if you felt that it made you look as bad as fecal matter. Also, while this may be an attempt at an off-handed compliment to your friends, why not compliment them, while leaving the self insulting compliments out. A better caption may be "Me and My Friends. They look good!" or in girl-internet language,
"
"
4 Basic Types of All Girl Pictures on Myspace/Facebook
Picture One: The "Emo" Picture
Ahh yes. What a fine specimen. What many people don't know, is that the "Emo" Picture is not just limited to those that that shop at Hot Topic. No, actually almost every girl has a "serious" photo, something they took to show their more "deep" side. While there are varying levels of "emo-ness" in varying girls "Emo" pictures, often times the serious pose will be combined with different photo editing techniques. Additionally, there may be self written poetry to reflect just how conflicted their life struggles are.
Picture Two: The "Face" Picture
You're sitting there at your computer one day, minding your own business, parousing some friend of a friend's myspace, when all of a sudden you come across a girl with a pretty nice face. Interested, you probe deeper, clicking on the girl's photo albums, and trying to find out a little bit more about her. To your dissapointment though, while she has a lot of pictures, they all seem to be from the neck up. You're still interested, so you click on some of her friend's pictures, thinking "Maybe they have some pictures with her?". You finally find a picture they all took at a recent sporting event, and as your eyes roll across the tags in the picture, you finally find her. "Holy.... Wait... No that can't... but that's her hair? EWWWW" Well, I hate to say it my friend, but you have fallen victim to the "Face" Picture.
Like it or not, "The Face", is a fairly common occurence on any social networking site. Thankfully, (atleast for the guys anyway), there are several warning signs of TF. In fact, there's a very handy method to figure out if a girl is trying to hide something on her albums.If the ratio of her "Face" pictures is greater than 3:1 of her "Full Body" pictures, I would be warry. However if the ratio is any greater than 6:1, you may have a full fledged "Facer" on your hands.
Picture Three: The "Mirror" Picture
Not exactly a type of picture, but more of a technique, the "Mirror" picture, is one of the most common pictures on any girl's myspace/facebook. Don't believe me? Check for yourself. I'll wait until you come back...
...Anway, the mirror pic is not too complex, however there are many variations on it. Some mirror pics combine the "Emo" and "Face" types. Some types incorporate other girls. Some even are taken with funny hats. (This last type is rare, girls are not usually fans of humorous headwear) Whatever the case, "Mirror Pics" are the staple of any girls photos and play a very important role.
Picture Four: The "I look like crap but they look good" Picture
A personal favorite, the "ILLCBTLG", encompasses all pictures in which a girl criticizes her appearance and/or says how much better her friends look than her. You obviously would not put this picture up if you felt that it made you look as bad as fecal matter. Also, while this may be an attempt at an off-handed compliment to your friends, why not compliment them, while leaving the self insulting compliments out. A better caption may be "Me and My Friends. They look good!" or in girl-internet language,
"
"
Thursday, February 12, 2009
New Left4Dead Glitch: The Gullible Glitch
Stupid People Episode 1:
How to convince your teammates to jump off the side of a building!
How to convince your teammates to jump off the side of a building!
Definition of the day
I'm going to try and make this semi-regular, or at least as often as I think of one that's somewhat witty
"That Guy": noun, used as in the sense "Who the hell is that guy", or "Who invited that guy. Denotes a general term of disapproval, or distaste towards that individual. Other uses may include examples such as, "What stinks in here?.... Oh it must be that guy".
I am not a dictionary.... so blow me
"That Guy": noun, used as in the sense "Who the hell is that guy", or "Who invited that guy. Denotes a general term of disapproval, or distaste towards that individual. Other uses may include examples such as, "What stinks in here?.... Oh it must be that guy".
I am not a dictionary.... so blow me
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
An insanely subpar webcomic
Saturday, February 7, 2009
I feel dirty
I hate myself for this.
Actually, I hate everything about this.
This is not going to be the most groundbreaking first post on the history of the internet.
Not even close actually.
But first let me set a few things straight.
I HATE the notion of a blog. However, I DESPISE the word "blog". People who use this word in casual conversation are instantly categorized in my mind under the "tool" category, somewhere between people that buy and wear Crocs, and this kid. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to change the word "blog" to something more respectable... Something that truly reveals the word for what it really means.. And from now on this word will be "RAPE".
Ahh, much better. It kind of rolls off the tongue doesn't it? RAPE is of course an anagram, or maybe an acronym....hm... Who the hell really knows anyway? Well anyway, like most anagrams/acronyms, RAPE, of course stands for something else. And in this case, RAPE, stands for "Revealing Aimless Personal Experiences". See, now not only is the new word catchy, it also makes sense, totally clearing up any confusion caused by the word "blog".
Now that we've taken care of that word, we need to take care of the word "blogger", formally known as a person that partook in the action of "blogging". Perplexing.... Oh I've got it!....
From now on all those that "RAPE" will be known as "RAPIST" 's! Perfect! I really feel like I've stumbled upon something great here.
So now that I'm a full-fledged RAPIST, I want to outline what this RAPE really is about. Unfortunately, this will not be another "Pictures of my Cat", or "My Soul is Blacker Than My Eye Liner" site. I'm not cool enough to wear girl's jeans, and I don't own a cat. What will be on this RAPE will be a collection of one liners that I think are funny, and chances are, you won't.
The posts will be unorganized and unappealing to the eye. I have neither the ambition nor the time to dress up what equates to the same amount of clever writing found in a mid-day soap opera that is going on its 10th season.
Who am I kidding, of course I have the time to do that...
Even the name of this RAPE is pointless. Most web addresses are short little words that are easy to remember and present the site in an informative and pleasant light. It's as if I purposely chose a sentence that was the exact opposite. Come to think of it, yes, it was totally on purpose.
In the age of the internet, websites are all competing for the common user's attention (Approximately that of a small rodent on crack), so honestly, what hope do I have a grabbing a huge audience when this site already exists. I might as well pack up this site right now, and never post again.
Which I very well might.
But now ends the first post.
I wish I had some witty statement to leave you with, but as I've learned, the first post on any website is often on par with the importance you give the handicapped greeter at Walmart. And I mean honestly, what kind of imbecile would have wasted their time to read all the way down here?
I am not an internet writer. My posts, will be short, and will be wrought with spelling and grammar mistakes. .... and no, I don't support RAPE, in either sense.
Actually, I hate everything about this.
This is not going to be the most groundbreaking first post on the history of the internet.
Not even close actually.
But first let me set a few things straight.
I HATE the notion of a blog. However, I DESPISE the word "blog". People who use this word in casual conversation are instantly categorized in my mind under the "tool" category, somewhere between people that buy and wear Crocs, and this kid. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to change the word "blog" to something more respectable... Something that truly reveals the word for what it really means.. And from now on this word will be "RAPE".
Ahh, much better. It kind of rolls off the tongue doesn't it? RAPE is of course an anagram, or maybe an acronym....hm... Who the hell really knows anyway? Well anyway, like most anagrams/acronyms, RAPE, of course stands for something else. And in this case, RAPE, stands for "Revealing Aimless Personal Experiences". See, now not only is the new word catchy, it also makes sense, totally clearing up any confusion caused by the word "blog".
Now that we've taken care of that word, we need to take care of the word "blogger", formally known as a person that partook in the action of "blogging". Perplexing.... Oh I've got it!....
From now on all those that "RAPE" will be known as "RAPIST" 's! Perfect! I really feel like I've stumbled upon something great here.
So now that I'm a full-fledged RAPIST, I want to outline what this RAPE really is about. Unfortunately, this will not be another "Pictures of my Cat", or "My Soul is Blacker Than My Eye Liner" site. I'm not cool enough to wear girl's jeans, and I don't own a cat. What will be on this RAPE will be a collection of one liners that I think are funny, and chances are, you won't.
The posts will be unorganized and unappealing to the eye. I have neither the ambition nor the time to dress up what equates to the same amount of clever writing found in a mid-day soap opera that is going on its 10th season.
Who am I kidding, of course I have the time to do that...
Even the name of this RAPE is pointless. Most web addresses are short little words that are easy to remember and present the site in an informative and pleasant light. It's as if I purposely chose a sentence that was the exact opposite. Come to think of it, yes, it was totally on purpose.
In the age of the internet, websites are all competing for the common user's attention (Approximately that of a small rodent on crack), so honestly, what hope do I have a grabbing a huge audience when this site already exists. I might as well pack up this site right now, and never post again.
Which I very well might.
But now ends the first post.
I wish I had some witty statement to leave you with, but as I've learned, the first post on any website is often on par with the importance you give the handicapped greeter at Walmart. And I mean honestly, what kind of imbecile would have wasted their time to read all the way down here?
I am not an internet writer. My posts, will be short, and will be wrought with spelling and grammar mistakes. .... and no, I don't support RAPE, in either sense.
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